A couple weeks ago a friend who reads the blog said: "The blog is great, but I don't understand why you want to change yourself so much." I was touched that loves me for me and doesn't understand the need for any improvement.
And to be honest, I am trying not to change too much. I am just trying to improve upon myself a little. I do not want to become self righteous and bossy. I do not want to be one of those people that others are afraid to talk to about food or money because they fear they will be judged. I just want to be me, slightly smaller and not in too much debt.
Last night I met my newest niece and it was love at first sight. I have 3 nieces and I want to be able to do lots of fun cool things with them and for them as they get bigger. It is easy now, story time and some stickers go a long way towards securing Cool Auntie ratings. I can run around the yard with them, but would love to play soccer with them when they are bigger, teach them to swim and the proper way to dive.
Soon stickers will be replaced with concert tickets for some teeny bopper I won't know and ultimately there will be college education and weddings or travel that I would love to help them enjoy.
So while this endeavor seems incredibly solipsistic, I am always thinking of them and the mythical children I could still possibly have myself. I want to be a part of the future, so that means I need to make some changes in my present.
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