Tonight's Dinner

After a 13 1/2 hour day, what does the single city gal have for dinner? A Lean Cuisine and freshly steamed broccoli!

While out on a work errand I grabbed a crown of fresh broccoli and steamed it while the LC cooked, resulting in an easy meal with some fresh green. Not the best thing I could eat, but it smells pretty good and it is ready in 6 minutes!

Big Failures

So yesterday I wrote about my small victory and today it is all about the big failure. If you were to put these two items on a bar graph they would likely come out equal, but in my mind the victories re always tiny and the failures monumental.

Last night I ate a lot of junk. For the first time in a while I just binged on junk, hardly any of it had any nutritional value and while it tasted good in the moment I feel terrible today, both physically and mentally.

Why? Why would I do something like that? After months of trying to curb my binge eating and feeling so good about my smaller clothes. That old Weight Watcher slogan "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels" is a load of crap, that food tasted delicious last night.

I did not have a particularly bad day at work. I wasn't bored or stressed over anything. I was hungry when I made the decision to purchase the junk and perhaps if I had eaten slightly more during the day I wouldn't have been so easily tempted, but I can't figure it out.

Today is all about righting the ship. I can't fast today as that will just confuse my body and mess with my metabolism, but I am going to try to eat healthy whole foods today, nothing sweet or processed and try to train myself back to normal.

Luckily I had a great work out yesterday and hopefully mitigated some of the damage.

Small Victories

If you are female you know the mind games involved in ladies' clothing sizes. You really need an engineering degree from MIT to understand why some size 14 pants fit and some don't, shouldn't they all fit the same?

Because women are not uniformly shaped like men, we cannot measure our clothing in inches with any real precision leading to a sliding scale of sizes that sometimes empower and often discourage the larger woman.

Women's clothes are segregated in to Misses and Women's, with the latter being for the bigger gals.

I had an encouraging moment this weekend. After the bathing suit stress I went in search of a pair of khaki capris. I did not see anything I liked in the Women's Dept. Bolstered by my mother I grabbed a pair from the Misses Department and sure enough, they fit! I also got a couple of shirts in Misses.

It is a small victory in a bigger battle, but it gave me hope. It also inspired me to keep off the weight I lost, I do not want to end up back in the Women's Department.

Dressing Room Drama

I got a bathing suit for Easter. Seems a little odd, right? Here is how it happened: my mother and I made a "no candy" pledge for Easter. In the past we have made little baskets for one another with gift cards and candy and bath stuff and candy and candles and candy. You get the picture. This year, no candy!

In lieu of a basket of any kind my mother offered to buy me a new bathing suit. So off we went in the pouring rain and 40 degree New England spring day to find a decent bathing suit before they are all back ordered and the winter coats are out.

We went to Sears to get a Lands End suit, pricey but worth it. I had the Lands End bathing suit catalog and figured I could try some on and if I didn't like the styles in the store I would at least know what size to order (and you can order right at Sears, get free shipping to your house and if the catalog price is less than the store price and you buy it in the store they will price match to the lower price, woo hoo!)

I grabbed no less than 10 bathing suits in 2 different sizes and trudged into the dressing room. It was painful, there were tears involved, but in the end I selected a bathing suit and my mother bought it for me.

I have never let my feelings about my body keep me out of a bathing suit. I love the beach, I love to swim and I love the sun so I generally get over it, but the harsh lighting and full length mirrors illustrated how much further I still have to go.

There was some good dressing room news though, more on that tomorrow....

Friday Recap: Week 16

Let's just say I am ready for the weekend...

Diet: Great work outs and bad food choices led to a stalemate on the scale. I feel so good at the gym, wish I could carry over those good feelings to my meals.

Budget: Had some gifts and charitable donations this week that sucked some money, but were well worth it. Put a little bit of money in savings as well!

Mood: Kind of blah...

I need some sort of boost, likely from t e weather, to get me motivated in all areas of life.

Up in Arms

Despite recent temperatures in the Boston area we are approaching sleeveless season. For many women this means time to think about our arms. Hidden beneath warm bulky sweaters for the past few months and not yet tanned by the sun my arms are a little scary right now.

This article caught my eye this week, it is just 4 simple moves and you can increase the difficulty by increasing the weight or number of reps.

I did these 4 moves yesterday and added some push-ups (often touted as the best move to tone your arms) and I can feel it today, in a good way. I will add this mini work out to my repertoire and hope to see some definition in my arms by the time I hit the beach.

Refueling

There is a lot of buzz about chocolate milk as the new sports drink. A study showed that cyclists who cycled for a really long time and then drank low-fat chocolate milk were able to continue 46 minutes longer than cyclists who drank traditional sports drinks like Gatorade and the like.

This makes some nutritional sense as calcium and Vitamin D help with absorption of protein into muscle mass, but why chocolate milk and not regular milk?

Don't get me wrong, I love chocolate milk and have a really hard time drinking regular milk straight so this is good news, but do I really need it?

While this tidbit is getting a lot of press, what isn't being said is this is really for high performance athletes, marathoners and Tour De France types. Most regular gym rats like myself do not need even the Gatorade. Simple water and a high fiber snack will replace anything you lose in a 1 hour work out.

The calcium benefits of the chocolate milk would be good for me as I have very little calcium in my diet, but I must count those calories, I cannot chug a big glass of chocolate milk like water and call it a replacement.

All sports drinks have calories (and if they don't they either don't work or are full of chemicals), that is the point as calories are fuel. The only time I have used sports drinks is during the Breast Cancer 3 Day. When I walked that event I trained with them and used them on event and as a Crew member I do use them to supplement my water during the height of a hot sunny day of work. They definitely have their place, but I don't think I need them just yet on a regular basis.

What about you? Do you use them when you work out?

Why am I Not Skinny?

I love articles like this one that give easy-to-do tips for creating an environment of weight loss.

I do all of these things. I'm not sure my Britta pitcher would be called enticing, but I always have water handy. I only own 1 kind of vinegar, although I love all kinds. I attempt to banish junk food every week, although some seems to sneak in nonetheless.

I was happy to see #12 on the list, as I really want a blender and this gives me a good excuse to buy one. I already have a food processor, but I can't make smoothies in my food processor. What I would really like is an immersion blender with a smoothie cup attached, but I digress.

I am also a firm believer in #13 from both a weight loss and budget stand point. You should always have a meal or 2 in the freezer and while it should be healthy it does not have to be left overs, a couple Lean Cuisines do the trick and save you the money and calories of take out.

So, I do all of these things. Why am I not skinny?

Oh Carbs How I Love Thee

Let me count the ways: bread, muffins, crackers, cookies, pancakes, rice, pasta and more!

I love carbs, there is no doubt about it and while I have successfully lost weight with low-carb diets in the past it is not a sustainable lifestyle for me.

I have done a good job of enriching my carbs with whole grain options, brown rice instead of white, whole grain breads, but I cannot seem to cut back significantly. Yesterday I made pancakes from scratch and they were so delicious.

Of course part of the problem with carbs is the butter and or cheese and or heavy sauces that often accompany them. I didn't just eat 3 pancakes, I ate 3 pancakes with butter and syrup.

I will continue to struggle with carbs no doubt, but hope to find a balance so I can enjoy my favorites without binging.

Friday Recap: Week 15

Rough week for me over all. Kind of glad to see it come to an end. After a really rejuvenating weekend life just decided to throw me a couple curve balls this week.

Diet: Minor slide back to the Easter candy demons. Not a full Cream Egg breakdown, but more than I had had the previous week (which was none). Good work outs though, increased Zumba with free weights, ran on the treadmill for 5 minutes. Feeling strong, except when it comes to food then I am weak weak weak....

Budget: Good week! Had a very low key weekend so the spending was well curbed.

Mood: Started so good, but went down hill fast with life and work problems. Trying to embrace the joys of spring.

Tonight I hope to work off my pizza with very vigorous fun & games with the girls! More on that next week...

Spring Into Shape -- for Free

If the gym is not in your budget and you are looking to work off some winter weight, check out this article.

All of the calorie burning suggestions in this article can be achieved for free. You can dance at home to the radio (and trust me I should only dance at home, in the dark). Now that it is light later you can take a walk after work. Your local library likely has yoga and Tai Chi DVDs for free and depending on where you live there may be community groups that offer sessions of one or the other for free or at a low cost.

I love my gym workouts and do not consider them a chore, but rather a blessed break from my day. I know not everyone feels the same way about the gym. Despite my love of the gym, the increasingly nice weather inspires me to get out and try new things and as my fitness level improves I am always on the look out for a new challenge.

I can't wait to see what I am capable of by the end of the summer.

My Own Personal Jillian

If you have ever watched The Biggest Loser you have likely seen Jillian work someone until they puke. I had never thought that possible for me. This goes back to my Monday post about not working out as hard as I could.

Today, Franklin my Zumba instructor, asked if we wanted to be pushed a little harder. He added free weights to the routine and did not let up for the entire 60 minutes. The breaks between sets were shorter and the added weights really intensified everything.

I came incredibly close to passing out at one point, but I soldiered on and did everything he asked.

When it was over he said he was inspired to push harder because we were keeping up with him. It felt incredibly good.

That Box in the Closet

After my fabulous workout this Sunday I dug out the box in my closet with the smaller clothes in it. It was a little trip down memory lane, some of the items had not seen the light of day in 7 years (and as a result some were down right out of fashion).

I tried everything on and was pleased that some of it fits already. Some of it is close and I put that in a pile marked "Memorial Day". Other things are quite a bit too small (and still have tags on them) so they went in a pile marked "Cruise" in hopes of making it on to my body by the end of July.

It was great though to see what I have for spring/summer clothes and know that I am not going to have to do much shopping. I tried on a pair of capris with the tags still on them that fit nicely and are now hanging in the closet ready to wear. I also have a bathing suit that is in the Memorial Day pile and that is great as I threw my old one away at the end of last summer. I intend to buy a new swimsuit, but this one will be a good back up.

With the budget reigned in it feels good to put some of these purchases from the past to good use in the present and get some new outfits in return.

A&E's Heavy

Earlier this year I blogged about Heavy, the new show on A&E. I had not watched it at the time, but was looking forward to it. This weekend I sat down and watched several episodes in a row and a few things hit me:

1. Many of the people profiled had serious traumas in their lives: sexual abuse, parents who had died suddenly or committed suicide, drug problems of their own, etc. It ramped up the drama for the show, but left me wondering why someone like me with such a charmed existence ends up fat.

2. Most of the people on the 7 episodes I watched were severely obese, at least 100 pounds heavier than me at my heaviest and some twice my weight or more. Since the show only covers 6 months of transformation a lot of these folks were just getting to my weight when the show ended. The one woman who started at a weight close to my heaviest looked really amazing at the end and made me very optimistic.

3. It did motivate me in one simple way: if these people can work out as hard as they were at their size I am being awfully lazy.

At the end of that blog post in January I said I didn't think watching other people lose weight on TV would motivate me, well I was wrong. On Sunday I added a whole workout to my week. In addition to a 35 minute outdoor walk I did 25 minutes on the treadmill where I actually ran, ran! for 5 minutes. I then did push ups (I have not done push ups since I was forced by Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenegger in Junior High) and sit ups. I felt great when I was done, thanks Heavy for the extra push!

Friday Recap: Week 14

Work was an overwhelming whirlwind this week, but I am excited for a slight warm-up over the weekend.

Diet: Made it to Zumba both days this week after a few weeks of conflicts on Thursday. Going to add a great workout this afternoon and a long walk in the nice weather tomorrow to round out a good week. Food wise I was pretty good over all and expect the scale to move again at next week's weigh in. Also, if I can resist today I made it a whole week with no Cadbury Cream Eggs!

Budget: I was quite thrifty this past week after my spending frenzy the week before. I hope the slide into warmer weather will result in less expensive ways to fill my free time.

Mood: Pretty good. Although I would really like the Sox to win today!

Next week is a nice mix of crazy work and a few fun outings!

When People Start to Notice

A woman in my class at the gym today loudly announced to the whole room that it really looked like I had lost weight. And, I have. I just shrugged and mumbled feeling very vulnerable and exposed.

How do you gracefully handle people noticing? It is a good thing, right? Shouldn't I be proud? Instead I just want to shrink into my smaller frame and skulk away.

Seasonally Super

Saw this article yesterday on the Super Foods of Spring! In an effort to eat more seasonally and thus more sustainably I was excited by the piece (although it did not mention where these items are seasonally available in spring -- we certainly don't have anything growing in the ground in New England yet).

I was excited to see that these 10 items are all foods I enjoy (in fact I ate an entire pound of asparagus last week) and eat regularly.

I would love some tasty recipes for artichokes and fava beans though. Which of these 10 is your favorite and how do you prepare it?

Source Material

The internet is full of diet info, but like everything on the internet there is always the question of reliability and accuracy. I subscribe to Shape and Fitness , but find that lately these magazines are more about fashion and make-up than diet and exercise. I have read a few good books, but now I am on the hunt for new source material.

What do you read? Books, magazines, blogs, websites: any media is acceptable. I am hungry for new recipes and exercise ideas!

Friday Recap: Week 13

Hello April! I could have done without the snow, but the Red Sox start playing for real today, so spring is here. March had its ups and downs and I am looking forward to warmer weather and leaves on the trees.

Diet: March was definitely an improvement over February and January, although still not perfect in many ways. I did note a 4 lb drop on the scale over the last 2 weeks which is a respectable weight loss, so I will remain positive going into the spring.

Budget: I was below my household budget for March, still overspending on food and entertainment. I am considering combining my household item and grocery budget as I never use all of my household budget, but I often buy household items at the grocery store and don't itemize the receipts.

Mood: Lots 'o stress this month, work is quite literally killing me. The spring will be worse.

I have a lovely weekend ahead of me though and I intend to relax and enjoy it!